Hi Margaret,
Hang in there, it does get easier. I've basically given up eating 'hidden' sugar, the stuff that you can't really taste but is there in the bucket loads, like sauces etc. I have bought cereal that is pretty much sugar free and am drinking skim instead of soy milk.
I basically eat things that are as unprocessed as possible and am now working on portion size, finding that smaller plates really help!
I've not really lost any weight but I am pretty small to start with, so no luck on the weight front.
After a few weeks of this I find that even things I didn't find sweet now do taste sweet - like bananas, natural yoghurt, grapes. It's amazing once your taste buds re-set, what tastes sweet. I do still eat the odd chocolate or biscuit, but mindfully. And now that I know about sugar, I avoid most of it.
Sounds like you've had some tough stuff happen to you, hopefully this new eating habit will be something to throw yourself into and give you something else to focus on :)
I also recommend Michael Pollan's books like In Defence of Food and Food Rules. He basically recommends eating unprocessed foods, and eating in moderation. Kessler's book The End of Overeating is also really good as it explains WHY we are ALWAYS thinking about our next snack, how our cravings work and how the food industry is leveraging how we feel to sell us more junk food.
Good luck and keep us posted :)
M